Trying to be strong...

Well, I'm between a rock and a hard place. I'm trying to be strong and rely on my Christian principles to trust in God and not to worry, but I'm acting very much the falible human right now and worrying myself to a sleepless night. I know things could be worse and I believe God will provide, even if it's providing in ways we don't necessarily anticipate or really desire. He's seen us through the last 2 months and there were times I didn't know where the $ was going to come from.

The most pressing financial dilemma right now has to do with our bank. As you may have heard on the news, there's a lot of talk about some banks being in a financial crisis. I tried to deposit my insurance check for the roof ($6700) and they told me I couldn't have access to those funds for 3 weeks! I could have $100 of it on Tuesday, $4500 of it in just over a week, and the remaining $2100 on August 5th. I refused to sign the release form they wanted me to sign. It said they had the right to hold my funds for 3 weeks. I told the teller (very nicely of course--the bank's policies are not her fault) that I refused to sign b/c I only sign statements I agree with. I wrote on the form and sent it back. Well...she must have gotten in trouble b/c she called me 4 hours later. She had taken the check to deposit, and I have my deposit receipt to prove it. She called and said she could not deposit it and asked if I would like to come pick it up and take it to another bank. Can you believe that!? I know she was trying to be helpful (probably b/c her boss reamed her for taking the deposit without me signing their form), but she told me to take my money elsewhere. We've been with this bank for over a year and I'm thoroughly disgusted. I have to come in on Monday morning and meet with the manager.

The reason I cannot wait for the $ for 3 weeks is b/c I used our savings to pay for the shingles for the house and now I don't have money for the mortgage unless that check is deposited. I could cry just typing this. The shingles were $3600. I am having my roof fixed next week and I need that money to pay the roofer and to cover my mortgage money I had saved. Honestly, I feel like I'm being pooped on. I've never heard of a 3 week hold for an insurance check that has already been endorsed by our mortgage company (Wells Fargo). I have another account with a different bank. I will check out their policies Monday before I go to Midfirst. My aunt, who worked at Farm & Home Bank forever, said it sounded suspicious and said I should check with the state commission and see what they say. The teller told me 3 different reasons they had to hold the check for that long. First, it was b/c of it's amount. Second, well, it was really b/c it was from out of state. Third, no, it was because it was company policy. When she called me back 4 hours after I deposited the check, she said it took so long b/c of how the check was processed through their bank. Obviously, this is a new policy that we did not agree to when we first setup our account because they needed me to sign an additional form, which I refused.

I don't know what to do. I've never been late on my mortgage. I have great credit, and I want to keep it that way. This is my money and I've waited 2 months to get it. I've went through all the hoops and now this.

It's not just the money, ooooh no. It's so much more. When it rains, it really does poor. I'm trying not to worry about what will happen next. I'm trying not to have a defeatist attitude. I'm trying to be strong. But, right now, I'm a mess. I thought typing this stuff out would help, but it hasn't. I'm not getting anywhere new by typing it. I feel a bit alone right now. My husband is sleeping soundly, as is my son. I'm up worrying about our finances and how we're going to make ends meet for yet another month. I'm literally worrying about how we're going to keep a roof over our heads. LOL. Ironic.

I'm done. No more typing tonight. I'll try and post something positive the next time I post. I swear, I'm usually an optimistic person.